We had just had dinner, and were sprawled out on the sofa waiting on our favorite show. Like a ritual I headed for the kitchenette, and Tony for the refrigerator. Now we were good to go, but what is an evening with my beloved without some good old banter before the show.
Tony: He scratches his beard (something he does when he’s pondering on something), and I knew he sought the best way to start out on his thoughts. A little more tugging at the innocent hair on his cheek, and he starts “What is it about the truth that scares people? Why do we feel the need to hide it? How do we know when we have the truth?”
Me: My eyes lit up slightly as I stared at him, I knew he had been hurt by the truth (or the lack of it), haven’t we all? I knew he expected me to give some smart answer but I had none. Soon, the words started to gather in my mouth, and I said: “At some point in our lives, we start to think to ourselves that we’ve got others figured out, that we’ve finally stumbled on the big secret that defines their life based on what they say, and what they do – because these two should make a man(anyone at all) – what they say, and what they do. And indeed they do, until they don’t. So we get broken-hearted when the truth we think that we know doesn’t look like it anymore.”
Tony: Right. Right. What is to be then when the true form of a man is neither in the things he says, nor the ones he does. In this short time that I’ve lived, I have seen man move far away from the professions he makes, I have watched him act in cognitive disagreement with the person he claims to be, I have heard man say one thing, and then do another. What credibility is there in him then? How is he to be trusted with the truth, or to tell the truth?
Me: You see, we will stop searching for the truth in the wrong places if we understand some things. If we learn to look, look really closely beyond the unsaid. Maybe then all these would make more meaning to us, and we’ll find that what we seek to know is nothing but a fraction of what really is. That the distance between that which we think is true, and that which holds true is quite enormous, maybe too much to cross, and we can not always expect to get it.
Tony: I know there will always be the need to look again, and again, and maybe some more. But I like to think that a man should be bound by what he says to another in trust.
Me: Right as you are, you shouldn’t limit truth by thinking it’s all that you know from what a man says or do. The truth is more than you’d ever know. I know we all search frantically for the truth, but I also know that we search in the wrong places. We search for the timeless, ageless, and extremely coy entity that slips through our fingers every time we hold too tightly, but we hold still. And what we all get is nothing but a pittance, a tiny bit of the whole lump.
Tony: I do believe you’re right. Maybe not entirely, but largely.
Me: I do believe that when we submit ourselves to the search for what is true, what holds true isn’t far off anymore. When we stop loooking for the truth in the wrong places, we stop seeing lies everywhere we turn.
The light from the TV set caught our attention, and we realized the show was beginning. I make a mental note to prod more when we could both carry on a more apprising conversation.